Fear of Starting Over

Fear of Starting Over

By Mariah Mulderink

Begin Again.  Are those words of hope or are they discouraging?

In some situations, they are definitely discouraging.  I’ll never forget a time in college where I was working on a paper (most likely the night before it was due) and something terrible happened.  My computer crashed and I lost six entire pages of my paper.  I have no shame in saying that I cried.  It was a horrible feeling.  In that situation, beginning again was the absolute worst thing.

In many scenarios, beginning again (or starting over) can feel overwhelming.  It is exhausting to think about what it takes to begin again.  It is as though you are back at square one.  When preparing to start over, you can feel bogged down by your past and by all the other times that you have attempted to start over.  Doubt creeps in because of all the other times where beginning again failed.

Perhaps, you have experienced something like this.  Perhaps, the idea of beginning again fills you with reluctance and hopelessness.  However, what does God see when you begin again?

He does not see your past failures.  He does not see you as hopeless or unworthy of His time.  God is not bogged down by your fears or anxiety.  

When we begin again, God rejoices in us.  Our decision to try again is a sign of our love for Him.  Allowing ourselves another chance is showing God our trust in Him.  It is saying to Him “Lord, I am allowing You room to work in my life.”  When we begin again, we throw ourselves on the mercy of God and allow His love to make us new.  

It is also a great testament to our dignity and the love God has for us when He allows us to begin again so many times.  In His endless mercy and His unconditional love, God gives us opportunity after opportunity to start over.  Although we may want to throw our hands in the air and give up, God says, “Begin again.  I am with you.”

There are so many ways for us to begin again with our Lord.  It could be going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and asking the Lord for His forgiveness so that we can be renewed in our relationship with Him.  Perhaps it is time to revitalize your prayer life and deepen your relationship with God.  Are there relationships that our Lord is asking you to heal and tend to?  

How does Christ want you to begin again?  Ponder this.  Ask Christ.  Allow Him to show you His will for your life.  He will be with you.  He will give you the graces you need.  

With Christ, the words “begin again” are words of hope.

We hope that you will join us as we Reflect, Beseech, and Begin Again.  If you haven't already, check out our other blogs from this series.

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